Statistically, these men fail most. Men build cultural structures of values and set these standards on one another. Competence demands reformation and building. Seeing the cracks in the structure and constantly attacking them makes this man an enemy of everyone, not a valued asset, especially if the disagreeable trait includes neurotic withdrawal, a common pairing for those who see much. Such a man will need to dedicate himself to the group and display himself as indispensable, masterful, competent, and beneficial – easily so – as the hero who laughs.
Personality Indicators of Success
There are three indicators of leadership success within one’s personality. These are
- Conscientiousness, divided into industriousness and orderliness;
- Openness, divided into intelligence and openness to experience; and
- Extroversion, divided into enthusiasm and assertiveness.
This is equally true of men and women, all of whom score roughly the same in these three personality categories. The two categories which differentiate the sexes are:
- Neuroticism, divided into volatility and withdrawal; and
- Agreeableness, divided into politeness and compassion.
These 5 traits are referred to as the Big 5 (and their subdivisions the Big 10, which contain 3 additional sub-traits each, 30 total). Men are statistically lower in neuroticism and agreeableness, which explains, from a personality perspective, male ascent to dominance. Women are more neurotic and agreeable, as a group, indicating women who ascend to leadership face a harder path of denying core facets of personality which are directly tied to survival instincts of safety. They are aware of danger (neuroticism) and engage softly (agreeableness), which keeps individuals safe. Though less common, many beta males adopt these strategies even if not temperamentally normative. Thus women and betas are much less likely to end up on the top or the bottom, where most men find themselves.
Disagreeable Female Successes
Why then do highly open, disagreeable women succeed? Expectations. I’ll write another article on this and link it here, but to summarize, it’s normal for a woman to be neurotic and for others to dismiss this neurosis. Moreover, men are not allowed to compete with women in the same fashion. Aggression towards a woman is inappropriate, but so is losing to one, giving a woman intent on success a cutting edge. She can compete with the women and the men, but the men must curb their competitive aggression when dealing with her. Their only tool is dismissing her, ignoring her. If she continues to assert, men give way like dominos.
Disagreeable, Open Men
For these men, high-intelligence and a wealth of experience lacks natural assertiveness or enthusiasm. Extroversion is critical for group success and group success is critical for life success. A lack of warmth means this man cannot gain followers or a partner. His state is worse because his lack of orderliness and industriousness means he cannot build, so his insights are purposeless and appear as status insubordination. Worse, because he is smarter than most and sees things others do not (common of high openness, which typically yields liberal thought), everyone perceives his insights to be attacks. This further isolates him, and, knowing he is right, he’s faced with the horror of not speaking, speaking falsely (which he cannot do without sarcasm because he is disagreeable), or fighting everyone.
Speaking what other men cannot see in a manner which upsets the status quo turns a man into a dragon to be conquered by basic fools. And so he ends up alone, waiting on God to change the situation or spiraling towards a nihilistic end. If he wasn’t neurotic already, he will become so, and then he will be even further on the outside. Here’s some transformative leadership maxims which apply:
YOU CANNOT SLAY 10 DRAGONS AT ONCE – YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE.
SLAYING A DRAGON IS NOTHING IF YOU DO NOT REBUILD THE KINGDOM.
REBUILDING REQUIRES FOLLOWERS, AND THEY REQUIRE CONSCIENTIOUS EXTROVERTED LEADERSHIP.
Such men are in desperate need of someone who will listen, and question their endgame. They can rationalize their own path out, but they will have to pay someone of equal intellect to allow themselves to process externally and acknowledge the end of their choices before it’s too late. They will also have to pay someone to put up with their theorizing and redirect them to questions of building processes. Therapy will be a good fit if they have trauma, but if they are causing their own trauma due to personality, the last thing they need is a safe space – they need to change their behavior. They must.